The right moment is well worth the wait.

Be patient...
Be discipline...
Because that decisive moment is well worth the wait. 

-Nguyen Pham 

I truly learn the lesson of patience this year the hard way. As i force myself to forget Jonathan, I ended hurting myself further and I was just using one boy after another to just try to feel something again, to forget about Jonathan, to forget about how I feel when I'm with him. Unfortunately, I didn't feel anything, just empty and hollow inside. I mean What am I kidding? 

The thing is it was just a giant hollow empty feeling after all. So yeah, once again i'm stupid, and nope, not just one, more than one, more like 100 or so. And you know what, it's not worth it. It's not worth it at all.

I finally learn that I need to take a break to be with myself, I need to really be with myself, learn to be by myself, I've always been with somebody and it's just for the wrong reason, just going from one rebound to the other, which is yeah, just doesnt do me any good.

 

I learn that I need to learn to have a good relationship with myself, because at the end of the day, if I truly have a great relationship with myself, after all, that's all it matter. When everything falls, the one relationship that truly matter is the relationship I have with myself. And i feel like i've been lying to myself, hiding from my feelings cos I couldn't man enough to face the way I feel about myself. 

The thing with Tyson was totally a wake up call and today after I told him how I truly feel about him was so good, I feel like I finally be true to myself again, to face up with myself and not just being diplomatic but really tell the jerk how i feel about him, that was way good. I'm on my way to being true to myself and so far it feels so good.:)

So I'm off to bed now and I'm gonna make sure I'm keep writing this everyday to make sure that I'm on the right path.

I really like the photography group and I feel like I learn a lot and tomorrow I'm gonna get up early to go take pics at Pounders :)

I wanna shout to myself just how much I love myself :)

xoxoxo